I Am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

I just received my copy of ESPN Magazines “The Body” Issue and all I can say is…. DAAAAAYUM!!!! There are a lot of HOT bodies in that issue!!

But what I’m most proud of is the fact that Tennis Star, Serena Williams is one of the athletes that was chosen to be on the cover of the issue. That’s right… Serena…a fierce, strong, powerful….CHOCOLATE goddess is proudly showing all of her glory on the cover of a major sports magazine. Black beauty is being redefined and recognized as a top Black female athlete is being celebrated.

I think ALL Black women should give a high five, a “hallelujah”, and a victory dance and strut their stuff in solidarity with Sister Serena. See, I believe that it is important that we not “Hate” but embrace, celebrate and support one another. As a child my father told me that no matter where I am I should always speak to other Black people. I’ve taken that lesson a step further and made it a point to complement other Black women on their outfits, hair, skin, make-up, etc. You know how it is…you walk into an event, store, gym, church and you get the up and down look and sneer, raised eyebrow or smirk. Before you can sit down good or walk past your fellow sister/judges you can hear the whispers, “I guess she thinks she’s cute.” “No she DIDN’T put that on.” And so on.

In today’s world with so much turmoil and economic uncertainty going on… a little solidarity among Black women would be nice. One of my favorite verses in the bible is from Psalms 139:14, it reads: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Every woman should recite that verse to herself every morning! We are all beautiful in our own individual ways and have our own unique gifts and style and should celebrate it. Light is not better than dark, slim not better than full, short not better than tall, long, straight hair is the same as short, textured wavy hair. Every woman is a beautiful, Nubian Goddess.

I leave you with Langston Hughes’ poem entitled Harlem Sweeties:
Have you dug the spill of Sugar Hill? Cast your gims on this sepia thrill:
Brown sugar lassie, Caramel treat, Honey-gold baby sweet enough to eat.

Peach-skinned girlie, Coffee and cream, Chocolate darling out of a dream. Walnut-tinted
Or cocoa brown, Pomegranate-lipped Pride of the town. Rich cream-colored to plum-tinted black, feminine sweetness in Harlem’s no lack.

Glow to the quince to blush of the rose. Persimmon bronze to cinnamon toes. Blackberry cordial, Virginia Dare wine-all of those sweet colors flavor Harlem of mine!

Walnut or cocoa, let me repeat: Caramel, brown sugar, a chocolate treat. Molasses taffy, Coffee and cream, licorice, clove, cinnamon to a honey-brown dream. Ginger, wine-gold, Persimmon, blackberry, all through the spectrum Harlem girls vary-

So if you want to know beauty’s rainbow sweet thrill, stroll down luscious, delicious, fine Sugar Hill.

Until tomorrow… find your blessing and give thanks for it!!!!!!!!!

Happily Single???

Journey to your inner First Lady- daily thoughts with Tatia M. Harris

When my father retired, he had cards made with his contact information and the words “Happily Retired.” I wonder… is it possible to be “Happily Single?”

After a few failed relationships in which I take ownership of bad judgment and decision making, I decided to make a list of conditions and characteristics in a man I had to have in order to enter another committed relationship. I also decided to keep the requirements between me and God, that way I’ll know for certain if a certain someone is right for me.

Am I being picky or unreasonable? I don’t think so. I made up the list during a period in which I was sure that emotions or loneliness wouldn’t get in the way; I can periodically check the list and remind myself to use caution before jumping into the sea of love again. And for me the demands are nothing spectacular but go to the core of what I want and need … and deserve from a significant other. In the meantime there is a lot to like about being single and I may as well like it because it just may be that I stay this way.

So, just as I become confident with going places by myself( I am my best movie date), learn to fix things around the house and handle any and every situation alone (I’m still working on being adept at cars) and become content with my single-self, I had a funny conversation with a male friend.

As a free-lance writer I often go to events covering a story for a publication, it could be a ritzy dinner and dance, a football or basketball game, a concert, a political rally or press conference, most of the time I go by myself … and have a good time.
The affairs are a good opportunity to meet new and interesting people- not to mention the perks of having front row seats and back-stage access at prime sporting venues and performances.

I mentioned to my friend that I ran into a mutual acquaintance at an event, this mutual acquaintance never fails to flirt outrageously with me, and I was making jokes about it. My friend proceeded to drop a bombshell on me.

According to my friend the reason said acquaintance always flirts with me is because I attend events alone. Apparently, and I quote “You are a limping antelope and the wolves and the lions smell blood and are closing in for the kill.” My friend said that when an attractive woman attends events alone she is either: A-lonely and desperate, B- has a man that is not doing his job right or can’t be brought out in public or C- a lesbian.

I started laughing and asked, “Why can’t I just be comfortable with myself?”
My friend informed me that while that is okay sometimes, occasionally I need to be seen in the company of a man … even if it’s only for escort purposes. This will keep the lions and wolves at bay and I won’t appear quite so … lonely.

So I have to ask myself if I mind that by going places alone I may appear to be lonely and desperate…. (Do I hear Bobby Blue Bland singing in the background??? “If You think you’re lonely noooooow, wait untillllll tonight guuuurrrrl…..”)

Or do I want to continue to be that confident, strong, empowered women who is not only comfortable in her skin…but loves the skin she’s in? I think that if I am going to be true to myself..and learn from past mistakes, I have to stick to the list. I’ll be honest, sometimes it would be nice to have a companion to hang out with…but I am not going to settle just because I’m feeling a little down or because of other people’s perceptions.

I was trying to find another word for lonely for this journal entry, so I looked it up in the thesaurus and here is what turned up: abandoned, alone, by oneself, friendless, desolate, single, unattended, uncherished, secluded, unsocial, longing for companionship, destitute.

Damn!! I looked around, that’s not me is it?????

The answer is NO, it’s not……. In fact, I’m covering another big shindig tomorrow night that will feature top political candidates and office holders at a big fundraiser…. I have just the stunning dress…and killer shoes, lipstick and shiny lipgloss and look forward to another evening of meeting, networking and talking to interesting people.

As for the wolves and lions?? Keep drooling baby……. And by the way that’s not a limp you see…..it’s a swagger.

Until tomorrow, find your blessings and give thanks for them!

Tatia

Love Yourself

Learning to love myself again has been a fun and enlightening experience. If someone were to ask me what I think is my best asset, I would say that it is my mind. I always did very well in school and made good grades without really trying, always did well in jobs and moved up the ladder quickly and always had a knack for writing. If you asked me if I thought I was pretty, I would say no.

It’s not that I thought I was ugly … I just had a lot of issues with myself. I‘ve always been flat… and I do mean flat-chested despite having four children, never been booty-licious, never been tall and statuesque. I was once in a relationship with someone who used to make fun of the way I smiled and my big teeth. He would say that I looked like a horse and bray when I smiled or laughed. Often when we were eating he would scream in pain when I would take a bite of food saying that is how my food felt because my teeth were so big. Eventually I started covering my mouth when I laughed or smiled, or just try not to smile much. He also made fun of the way I walked, teasing me constantly about how awkward and uncoordinated I looked.

After we separated it took me a long time to believe people who complimented me on my smile or my “strut”; I thought they were making fun of me. When I realized that the compliments were genuine, I began to take another look at myself and discovered that maybe I wasn’t an ugly duckling after all.

Part of my self-love came through exercise. I don’t really exercise to lose weight because I’ve never had a weight problem; I exercise for the mental relief. But as I began to work out I began to get in touch with myself on a spiritual level. When I’m walking I can feel all of muscles working and tightening up and it’s a great feeling, sweat is poring down my face and back and arms cleansing out all the impurities in not just my body- but also my mind. I started checking myself out in the mirror to see if I could see an improvement in the tone of my body and decided to start looking for things that I like about my body. Guess what? There is a lot to like! By accepting what I have and learning to like it I have achieved a positive step on the road to loving Tatia. In fact, now I see some positives to not having big breasts- for instance I don’t always have to wear a bra. Being short doesn’t have to be a drawback- I can make up for it with high heels … and by projecting self-confidence. I now like my smile…and use it often; I feel like it’s an asset and one of the best weapons in my self arsenal.

Another step to loving “Me” is through pampering- I can’t say enough about the benefits of a long, hot bubble bath, some music on the CD player, a glass of wine and a book. I finish that experience off with a facial and a manicure and pedicure in my room with scented candles and I am truly in heaven.

I think sometimes women are too hard on ourselves and are so busy trying to fit into society’s idea or even a certain man’s idea of what beauty is that we lose our true self. And if we can’t love our true self, how can we expect anybody else to?

Something I find to be really sexy and fun is to buy lingerie and to dress up for myself. Sometimes, even when I don’t have anywhere to go I’ll put on make-up and just take a drive to nowhere in particular. I did that a few weeks ago and stopped at a gas station to buy a lottery ticket. As I was standing in line an attractive gentleman walked in; I estimated him to be in his mid to late 60s. We may eye contact and I smiled a hello. He walked up to me and said, “Excuse me ma’am, I don’t mean to offend you but you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Whoever the man in your life is must be a very lucky man.” I thanked him and we struck up a general conversation, he shared with me that he was retired from the air force and recovering from a stroke. He had recently bought a farm in the area and was busy re-habbing and working on the farm. As I left he thanked me again for brightening up his day and said it was a pleasure to meet me. Walking to my car I smiled to myself thinking that the positive energy I am creating for myself is taking flight.

How do you love yourself? If you haven’t taken this journey start by naming five wonderful things about yourself … then keep going !!!!!!

Until tomorrow….. find your blessing and give thanks for it.

Tatia

Find Your Inner First Lady

Journey to Your Inner First Lady- Daily thoughts- by Tatia M. Harris

“How the H**L did I end up here?” Do you ever wake up some days and wonder why your life is the way it is?? Wonder what might have been if you had made different or better choices? Dream for what could have or should have been?

I think there comes a point and time in everyone’s life when a little self-analysis is good for the soul. For the past few years of my life I have been undergoing a self-analysis and re-birth if you will, I did not like the person I had become and decided I needed to make some major changes in my life. The first being to live by the commandment “Thou shall not be a doormat” and the second being “Thou shall love yourself because you are fabulous.”

Once upon a time in a land far away, I was a beautiful princess who believed that I could accomplish any goal I set and have any dream I desired. I just knew that I was the best and brightest star in the universe. I imagined for myself a life of jet-setting, excitement and a “special someone” to share my world. Somewhere along the way I let other people’s jealousies, insecurities and perceptions change who I knew that I was and I began a slow descent into a life that I never imagined I would have. Instead of running a corporation, I was running in fear; instead of having self-confidence, I experienced self-doubt, instead of crowning accomplishments; I was struggling spiritually, emotionally and financially. Damn! I wasn’t living a fairy-tale … I was trapped in a nightmare!! So the princess took a look in the mirror one day and didn’t like the reflection looking back at her and decided to break out of the cage she had created for herself.

So here I am.

I am going to keep a daily journal of my thoughts and hope that you will join me on a journey of self discovery. Together we will find our voice and strengthen our voice so that it will heard ringing loud and clear. “ I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” that is my favorite verse from Psalm 139. I am finding out that the more I like myself, the more I love myself; and the more that I love myself the better I am able to handle all of the things that life throws my way. I think I can say that while I’m not living the life that I imagined for myself … it’s not too late to accomplish the dreams I had as a starry-eyed seventeen year old girl with her head in the clouds. I’m like the Israelites in the old testament- wandering around in the desert for forty years trying to figure out what was going on and learning lessons the hard way. So at forty-three I am renewing my acquaintance with Tatia Marie Harris, an old friend from way back who vowed to one day rule the universe by creating wonderful stories that would inspire people, invoke intelligent discussion and make her own little corner of the world a better place to be.

Join me won’t you?? Until the next day………………

Find your blessing and give thanks for it.

Tatia