Love Yourself

Learning to love myself again has been a fun and enlightening experience. If someone were to ask me what I think is my best asset, I would say that it is my mind. I always did very well in school and made good grades without really trying, always did well in jobs and moved up the ladder quickly and always had a knack for writing. If you asked me if I thought I was pretty, I would say no.

It’s not that I thought I was ugly … I just had a lot of issues with myself. I‘ve always been flat… and I do mean flat-chested despite having four children, never been booty-licious, never been tall and statuesque. I was once in a relationship with someone who used to make fun of the way I smiled and my big teeth. He would say that I looked like a horse and bray when I smiled or laughed. Often when we were eating he would scream in pain when I would take a bite of food saying that is how my food felt because my teeth were so big. Eventually I started covering my mouth when I laughed or smiled, or just try not to smile much. He also made fun of the way I walked, teasing me constantly about how awkward and uncoordinated I looked.

After we separated it took me a long time to believe people who complimented me on my smile or my “strut”; I thought they were making fun of me. When I realized that the compliments were genuine, I began to take another look at myself and discovered that maybe I wasn’t an ugly duckling after all.

Part of my self-love came through exercise. I don’t really exercise to lose weight because I’ve never had a weight problem; I exercise for the mental relief. But as I began to work out I began to get in touch with myself on a spiritual level. When I’m walking I can feel all of muscles working and tightening up and it’s a great feeling, sweat is poring down my face and back and arms cleansing out all the impurities in not just my body- but also my mind. I started checking myself out in the mirror to see if I could see an improvement in the tone of my body and decided to start looking for things that I like about my body. Guess what? There is a lot to like! By accepting what I have and learning to like it I have achieved a positive step on the road to loving Tatia. In fact, now I see some positives to not having big breasts- for instance I don’t always have to wear a bra. Being short doesn’t have to be a drawback- I can make up for it with high heels … and by projecting self-confidence. I now like my smile…and use it often; I feel like it’s an asset and one of the best weapons in my self arsenal.

Another step to loving “Me” is through pampering- I can’t say enough about the benefits of a long, hot bubble bath, some music on the CD player, a glass of wine and a book. I finish that experience off with a facial and a manicure and pedicure in my room with scented candles and I am truly in heaven.

I think sometimes women are too hard on ourselves and are so busy trying to fit into society’s idea or even a certain man’s idea of what beauty is that we lose our true self. And if we can’t love our true self, how can we expect anybody else to?

Something I find to be really sexy and fun is to buy lingerie and to dress up for myself. Sometimes, even when I don’t have anywhere to go I’ll put on make-up and just take a drive to nowhere in particular. I did that a few weeks ago and stopped at a gas station to buy a lottery ticket. As I was standing in line an attractive gentleman walked in; I estimated him to be in his mid to late 60s. We may eye contact and I smiled a hello. He walked up to me and said, “Excuse me ma’am, I don’t mean to offend you but you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Whoever the man in your life is must be a very lucky man.” I thanked him and we struck up a general conversation, he shared with me that he was retired from the air force and recovering from a stroke. He had recently bought a farm in the area and was busy re-habbing and working on the farm. As I left he thanked me again for brightening up his day and said it was a pleasure to meet me. Walking to my car I smiled to myself thinking that the positive energy I am creating for myself is taking flight.

How do you love yourself? If you haven’t taken this journey start by naming five wonderful things about yourself … then keep going !!!!!!

Until tomorrow….. find your blessing and give thanks for it.

Tatia

Find Your Inner First Lady

Journey to Your Inner First Lady- Daily thoughts- by Tatia M. Harris

“How the H**L did I end up here?” Do you ever wake up some days and wonder why your life is the way it is?? Wonder what might have been if you had made different or better choices? Dream for what could have or should have been?

I think there comes a point and time in everyone’s life when a little self-analysis is good for the soul. For the past few years of my life I have been undergoing a self-analysis and re-birth if you will, I did not like the person I had become and decided I needed to make some major changes in my life. The first being to live by the commandment “Thou shall not be a doormat” and the second being “Thou shall love yourself because you are fabulous.”

Once upon a time in a land far away, I was a beautiful princess who believed that I could accomplish any goal I set and have any dream I desired. I just knew that I was the best and brightest star in the universe. I imagined for myself a life of jet-setting, excitement and a “special someone” to share my world. Somewhere along the way I let other people’s jealousies, insecurities and perceptions change who I knew that I was and I began a slow descent into a life that I never imagined I would have. Instead of running a corporation, I was running in fear; instead of having self-confidence, I experienced self-doubt, instead of crowning accomplishments; I was struggling spiritually, emotionally and financially. Damn! I wasn’t living a fairy-tale … I was trapped in a nightmare!! So the princess took a look in the mirror one day and didn’t like the reflection looking back at her and decided to break out of the cage she had created for herself.

So here I am.

I am going to keep a daily journal of my thoughts and hope that you will join me on a journey of self discovery. Together we will find our voice and strengthen our voice so that it will heard ringing loud and clear. “ I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” that is my favorite verse from Psalm 139. I am finding out that the more I like myself, the more I love myself; and the more that I love myself the better I am able to handle all of the things that life throws my way. I think I can say that while I’m not living the life that I imagined for myself … it’s not too late to accomplish the dreams I had as a starry-eyed seventeen year old girl with her head in the clouds. I’m like the Israelites in the old testament- wandering around in the desert for forty years trying to figure out what was going on and learning lessons the hard way. So at forty-three I am renewing my acquaintance with Tatia Marie Harris, an old friend from way back who vowed to one day rule the universe by creating wonderful stories that would inspire people, invoke intelligent discussion and make her own little corner of the world a better place to be.

Join me won’t you?? Until the next day………………

Find your blessing and give thanks for it.

Tatia